Cambridge, Massachusetts is considering moving traffic enforcement from the city’s police department to unarmed personnel from either the parking department, public works, or Health and Human Services.
To put it another way, having meter maids pull over speeders — who may or may not be violent felons with outstanding warrants — would be the best-case scenario.
Two city councilors submitted the harebrained scheme to the city manager Monday in response to the continuing unrest following the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis Police custody.
Per Barstool Sports:
Where does one even begin to unpack this? It’s the stuff of such sheer fantasy that it’s hard to believe two adults even had a conversation about it, much less put it in writing and signed their names to it. This sound like an idea your three year old daughter would come up with during a tea party with her stuffed animals. Build a magical city where there is no crime and when people don’t drive safely you can have them stopped by kids and moms and au pairs who can remind them to slow down. And instead of a ticket, they get a thank you card with a picture of My Little Pony on it. Problem solved.
So if I’ve got this right, Cambridge traffic enforcement will be handled by the Parking Department, DPW employees and social workers? Is that it? Good call. Because meter maids are legendary for their reasonableness, public works guys are famous for their work ethic, and HHS has done such a bang up job taking care of the elderly and kids in foster care. Let’s give them more to do.
If this does pass – and this is the People’s Republic, so don’t dismiss the possibility altogether – the one benefit it is I’ll go back to the city more often for sure. Any place I can speed, run red lights, go the wrong way up one way streets and generally drive the way I want because the law is being enforced by people actually lazier than me armed with nothing but a stern look is my paradise. I’ll go full “Simpsons: Road Rage” on their useless, average citizen asses. Until then, I’m going continue to give that insane asylum a good leaving alone.
In cases where the person pulled over is identified as a dangerous felon or is “resisting arrest,” the plan for Cambridge’s proposed traffic wardens is to hunker down and call the cops. Brilliant.
On a somber note, The Officer Down Memorial Page reports 140 deaths in the line of duty so far this year.